Present time, Ladies Washroom Cubicle
Fairness - "The quality of treating people in way that is right or just; without
discrimination in judgment", according to the Cambridge English Dictionary, one
of the top results for fairness on Google.
In the privacy of the washroom cubicle Naina let her hot tears
fall as she Googled the word that was on her mind ever since her showdown with
her Manager and Senior Manager. No, she wasn't sad. She was furious and
something else, which she couldn't quite put her finger on. After this
incident, it felt like the rose tinted glasses through which she had thus far
viewed the world had fallen away and she was only just beginning to see the
world with all its cracks and ugliness. It was a rude awakening. A feeling akin
to a rug being pulled out from under her feet, a sense of instability. Her
faith in the goodness and fairness of the world was shaken.
***
Naina thought back to the time she had joined this company as a fresher, a year
ago. She had been so psyched about being tagged to a project straight after her
training. Many of her batch mates were still on 'the bench'. In those initial
months, Naina's motivation levels were very high. She was a quick learner and
her manager, Kabir, recognising her skill and ability, gave her progressively
more and more challenging work. The first few months were blissful for Naina.
She woke up each morning excited to go to work. To her, Monday blues didn't
exist. She got to learn a lot about her field and the way of doing things during
this time.
All was well for about six months, after which Kabir was given
an opportunity to work at the client-side in the USA. A senior member of the
team, Hitasha was promoted to serve as the manager in his place. Naina was not
particularly concerned, because she had gotten well enough along with Hitasha
in the past. Until Hitasha learned the ropes, Kabir managed the team remotely.
After a few weeks, Hitasha took over from Kabir in all capacities.
That Hitasha would prove to be Machiavellian in her management
style came as a surprise to Naina. In all of Naina's previous interactions with
Hitasha, she had never seen the domineering, 'my way or the high way' side of
Hitasha's character. Still, Naina gave her the benefit of doubt because she
supposed Hitasha needed the team members to now see her as the boss, someone
who gets work done and is tough as nails. Thus, some equations between Hitasha
and the team began to change. They now had a subordinate - supervisor
relationship with each other.
In a few more weeks it became apparent that Hitasha was taking
her authoritarianism a bit too far. For fear of being seen as a 'soft' manager,
she had taken to micromanagement to ensure that work was being done exactly as
she wanted it. She tried to win over clients by committing to deliver projects
in lesser time than the team required to actually complete the work. She would
then make the team put in extra hours or weekends to help her meet the
unrealistic deadlines that she had already committed. She rarely permitted team
members to even apply for leaves. She would publicly berate any team member
whose work she deemed unsatisfactory, in that harsh voice of hers that carried
throughout the floor.
She used the same technique to manage both diligent workers and
slackers, much to the indignation of the former, who took pride in their work
and needed but a gentle reminder or constructive feedback to prod them along.
What Hitasha managed to achieve by this was not cooperation from the slackers
who couldn't care less anyway, but a sharp dip in motivation of the diligent
workers. They felt that Hitasha was constantly breathing down their necks and
yelling at them. They could do nothing right no matter what they did, so what
was the point in even trying? To top it all, Hitasha also indulged in
favouritism. It was ironic that she yelled more at the diligent workers than at
the slackers, some of whom she had an affinity to. Since Hitasha's tyranny began,
six out of thirteen people in the team submitted their resignations within
weeks of each other.
Naina tried to stay out of Hitasha's way as much as possible.
She did her work as best as she could within the tight deadlines. Hitasha
started allocating tougher and tougher tasks and projects to Naina which
initially seemed like a good thing. Problems started cropping up when the
complexity of the tasks increased so much that Naina realised that her close to
one year of experience in the organization was not sufficient for her to do
justice to the project. She needed time to reach out to people more skilled and
experienced than herself in order to proceed. This time was not accounted for
in the tight deadlines set by Hitasha. So Naina ended up submitting a couple of
tasks late, because she believed in quality work even if it took slightly
longer. However, Hitasha could only see that the deadline was not met. She held
Naina responsible for losing face in front of the clients. This put Naina in
Hitasha's bad books.
Hitasha's eye, (much like Sauron's from the LOTR) was on Naina
now. The tough projects kept coming in, always with unrealistic deadlines. Over
the months, Naina's speed and accuracy improved but her motivation levels were
not what they used to be. This was attributed to Hitasha humiliating her
everytime she didn't submit a project on time, while at the same time always
forgetting to appreciate her when she did keep to the deadline, even though the
times when Naina did a good job were more frequent than those when she didn't.
The stress at the workplace started taking its toll on Naina's
health. Her appetite while at work was almost non-existent due to acidity. It
was with a heavy heart that she entered the office each day. Weekends were
eagerly looked forward to, the way a prisoner would look forward to an escape.
This was when Naina realised the importance of a peaceful work environment
which nurtured its employees. No amount of money could justify such a toxic
work environment, at least to her. She actively started seeking other job
prospects.
***
The last straw was a few weeks ago. Naina had already been working on a complex
project when she was given another task. The task was simple but tedious
requiring at least half a day. Hitasha who usually came in at 11 a.m. and
worked till 8 p.m. sent an email about the task allocation to Naina and another
team member, Vinay at 2 p.m. Naina worked in the 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. shift. Ping!
Her computer signalled a new email. It was the task allocation email from Hitasha.
'To be completed by EOD today', the mail read. Naina stared at the mail in
disbelief. Her day ended in the next three hours. This was completely
ridiculous. She told Hitasha that she couldn't do it that day, her shift would
end soon and this would require half a day.
Naina saw red. Not being allowed to go home was a low blow. It
was something she resented above all else. How dare Hitasha?
'I'll try,'
said Naina defiantly and stormed away.
'I don't want you to try. I want the task finished today. Or
else... ', Hitasha ranted to Naina's disappearing back.
Naina knew she wouldn't be able to complete the work that day,
but she got started with it and stayed in office till 6:30 p.m. She would now
be able to finish the work before 11 a.m. the next day before Hitasha arrived.
In the process, Naina missed the office shuttle that took her home each evening
at 5 p.m. Getting home was a bit of a struggle without the shuttle because the
office was in the middle of nowhere.
The next day a nasty email from Hitasha awaited Naina. Hitasha
had complained to the Senior Manager about Naina always 'leaving early' and
'neglecting work'. It was apparently a trend she had noted right from the time
she started managing this team. The unfairness of it hit Naina hard. She
finished the cursed task and then went to ask her colleague Vinay if he had
submitted the task the previous day. He laughed it off saying he would do it in
a few days and that he had informed Hitasha about it. More unfairness. Tears of
anger a welled up in Naina's eyes and she quickly excused herself.
Naina wrote to the Senior Manager saying she believed she had
been treated unfairly and requested a one on one meeting. The meeting was
scheduled for noon that day - in a meeting room and not an open cubicle,
thankfully. Naina arrived five minutes early mentally prepping herself up for
what lay ahead. In walked the Senior Manager, Biswas, a man of about fifty.
Naina had interacted him a few times to brief him about the projects she had
worked on. He was not the type of person who would instil confidence in
someone. The original Machiavelli, he had been Hitasha's primary mentor.
Chances were he would take Hitasha's side of the argument, but Naina had to
try. A few minutes later Hitasha sauntered in.
'Okay Naina, tell me what the problem is,' said Biswas with a
smile aimed to intimidate. Hitasha fixed her gaze on Naina scornfully.
Naina told him about having to complete tough projects in
unrealistic times, about the most recent task which she had turned in a day
late. She also talked about how Vinay had been allowed more time to work on a
similar task whereas her own request for more time had been denied.
Naina looked at Hitasha as she told them about how she came at 8
a.m. everyday. Everyone else came late, even Hitasha, so she only saw that
Naina left at 5 p.m. She never paused to think that this girl has been here for
nine hours. Hitasha always assigned her more work after 2 p.m. and expected her
to complete it the same day. It was important for Naina to catch the office
shuttle that left at five because otherwise travelling home was a struggle.
To this Hitasha said, 'If you want fixed hours, you should look
for a government job. This place is not for you.'
'That's easy for you to say, you always leave on time. Besides,
you have a laptop, you can work from home anytime,' Naina shot back at Hitasha.
'Now, now,' Biswas interjected with a chuckle.
He continued, 'I agree with Hitasha. If you are not up to the
long hours you are not fit for this job. All the other team members remain in
office till 9-10 p.m.'
Naina pointed out that they were all bachelors who lived away
from home, so naturally they preferred to stay in office, have dinner and then
leave for their rooms where they would have no one to talk to and nothing much
to do. Long hours didn't necessarily mean efficiency.
Biswas continued as if Naina hadn't spoken, 'You must also know
that we are answerable to clients. Do you know that we have to hear much worse
from them if we don't deliver projects on time, than what you hear from
Hitasha?'
'Have you given a thought to why she is so hard on you? She is
under a lot of pressure and people like you waste her time this way. Still she
is doing a commendable job.'
'Now I don't want to hear any more complaints about you. Do you
understand?'
Naina was speechless. The two of them had teamed up against her
and now there was no reasoning with them. They simply refused to listen to her.
Even if they did listen, they would twist the problem around so that the finger
was always pointed at Naina. They had successfully pushed her into a corner.
Naina hung her head and nodded. Her foremost thought at this
moment was to escape to the washroom before she lost her composure. The last
thing she wanted to do was to cry in front of these people. She didn't want to
give them that power. With herculean effort, she managed to hold up just long
enough. She excused herself and rushed to the nearest washroom. Out of the
corner of her eye, she caught Hitasha's triumphant expression.
***
Back in the Ladies Washroom Cubicle
As a child, Naina's parents had always taught her to be fair. Even if the world
wasn't fair in return. During the blissful oblivion that was her childhood, she
hadn't fathomed the ways in which the world could be unfair. But now she
knew. And it made her feel such a sense of being wronged that she almost
couldn't breathe. The tears had stopped. Now came a sense of resignation.
Hitasha and Biswas would never admit to being in the wrong. She could complain
to Human Resources, but what was her word against that of two managers? It
would get messy.
Naina took two deep, steadying breaths, dried her face and stepped out of the
cubicle. Looking at the mirror, she tried to right her appearance as best as
she could and walked back to her desk. She knew what she had to do. She logged
into the employee portal, filled out the resignation form and hit the submit
button.
***
The three months of notice period were hell for Naina. But at least she knew
she would soon be out of this place. She had given several interviews for jobs
in the meantime and had been selected at two places which seemed promising. She
would select one of these as her next workplace after some consideration. Due
to this ordeal, she at least knew what she 'didn't' want her workplace
environment to be like. Thank God for small favours, she thought wryly. She had
also come to the difficult conclusion that much of the world is not a fair
place. But we must always set off assuming that it is, at least for our
peace of mind. If it later turns out that it isn't fair, well, we can't do much
about it, except be strong, stay true to our principles and values and try to
improve the situation to the best of our ability. If that doesn't work, the
only option that remains is to get out of the situation. Staying and fighting
is just not worth the emotional toll it takes on us.
***
On her last day in the organization, as Naina sat composing the customary
'Goodbye Email', her mind came up with a lot of choice things to say to Hitasha
and Biswas. But she overcame the urge, because she didn't want to stoop to that
level. It would mean that they still had power over her and she was trying her
hardest not to let it affect her sense of confidence and self worth. It was
soon time to leave. She mustered will power and walked up to Hitasha and Biswas
to bid them farewell. Biswas told her that she had done more harm than good to
the project. Naina took the words with a smile and turned away. Though they
hurt, they didn't do as much damage as she had feared.
She packed her bag and walked out of the office with her head
held high, her mind singing, 'Good Riddance, Good Riddance' on a loop. As she
sat at her favourite window seat in the five p.m. shuttle, she heaved a huge
sigh of relief. She was free at last. What a coincidence that the next day was
15th August, the Independence Day!
--X--
--X--
Good writing as usual.
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